I was at first amazed by her beauty. I was dumbstruck. And she was the thing I had to have. Come hell or high-water, I would have her for my own. She was perfect in every way to me. She would make me do and say things I had no intention to do or say. I was entranced and overcome by her very presence.
This young lady became my wife. And I came to discover the infinite depth of her beauty. How could I have been so blessed? A lowly slug such as myself. And for years I had her for my very own. I could never know all things about this simply complex person. But I would try. She was surely hiding something from me. I could sense it. There was even more there that I could perceive, but could not explore.
Then my Wife became pregnant with our first. And she changed. She morphed right before my very eyes and I knew she was going somewhere strange and odd. A place she would never return from. It was exciting to witness her gracefulness as her belly swelled and she took on that glow. And she changed. She changed. Subtly at first. But profoundly. Then this woman emerged to me. I felt unworthy. I felt in awe.
Our first baby was born at Desert Samaritan, in Mesa, Arizona. I was rocked by my wife's fortitude. When the contractions came, she entered in to a zone. She did not flail. She did not writhe. She did not complain. Not once. Who was this superhuman? And how could it have escaped me all these years? The obscured place I had sensed in her was not a place that existed in the then of her. No. I had been sensing the potentiality. I has been sensing what she would become.
Watching my wife with our children, I know I am bested in all things by this woman. We have four children now. Each one loved, fed at the breast, beneficiaries of pure love and tenderness. Each one sprinkled with the cool relief of a mother's gentle touch and understanding.
When you see a mother, you see the pinnacle of human potential. Who can count the legions of men who have died crying out for their mothers? There is a reason why.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
The Judas Ratio
For several years I have been toying with the concept of a "Judas Ratio." The Judas Ratio can be thought to be the 8% (1/12) of any demographic segment (whether professional or otherwise) that can be expected to be complete scoundrels.
The concept originated with my father, Dan Sr., who postulated the thought to explain the "radical priests" during the pedophilia outing that occurred some years back. He said something along these lines: "If the Master Himself had one among his group who would sell Him and his own soul for a bag of cash, isn't it likely the rest of us will have to suffer the same?" That goes for the Church, our schools, our bureaucrats, our politicians, our businesses (managers and employees alike), our neighbors, our family members, et cetera.
I think there is something to this Judas Ratio business. It may be that some of the 8% are never found out, while others are eventually dis-covered. But, nonetheless, I think it holds.
Recently, I found out that 2 of my co-workers, both married with children, were having an long-term affair with one another. I was, to say the least, disappointed and rather sick to my stomach when I learned that these two people who I had judged to be good, solid people (with whom I took to have a great deal in common with), were, in fact, in complete breach of their most fundamental commitments... that of their respective marriages. I was floored because I believed I knew their hearts. I judged I knew them and their characters. I judged I would trust their judgment and had faith in each of them, perceiving them to be children of light. But I was flat wrong.
Judas lives. Judas lives. Betrayal of one's-self and of one's time and place... and of the possible futures is perhaps to be expected, given the 8% miasm we find through the ranks of our species. It makes it hard to have faith that we can achieve enlightenment as a species when there are those among us who live... sweat... grope... and remain... dragging their corpses through the historical refuse of a shadow world of lies and deceit.
The concept originated with my father, Dan Sr., who postulated the thought to explain the "radical priests" during the pedophilia outing that occurred some years back. He said something along these lines: "If the Master Himself had one among his group who would sell Him and his own soul for a bag of cash, isn't it likely the rest of us will have to suffer the same?" That goes for the Church, our schools, our bureaucrats, our politicians, our businesses (managers and employees alike), our neighbors, our family members, et cetera.
I think there is something to this Judas Ratio business. It may be that some of the 8% are never found out, while others are eventually dis-covered. But, nonetheless, I think it holds.
Recently, I found out that 2 of my co-workers, both married with children, were having an long-term affair with one another. I was, to say the least, disappointed and rather sick to my stomach when I learned that these two people who I had judged to be good, solid people (with whom I took to have a great deal in common with), were, in fact, in complete breach of their most fundamental commitments... that of their respective marriages. I was floored because I believed I knew their hearts. I judged I knew them and their characters. I judged I would trust their judgment and had faith in each of them, perceiving them to be children of light. But I was flat wrong.
Judas lives. Judas lives. Betrayal of one's-self and of one's time and place... and of the possible futures is perhaps to be expected, given the 8% miasm we find through the ranks of our species. It makes it hard to have faith that we can achieve enlightenment as a species when there are those among us who live... sweat... grope... and remain... dragging their corpses through the historical refuse of a shadow world of lies and deceit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)